Spelling
- Ken Swarner, The Family Man
For his latest article
from KINY radio - Juneau Alaska
I liked it when I could have a complete, unedited, uncensored conversation with my wife in front of my kids simply by spelling through the tricky words. I could say whatever I wanted.
"Honey, let's put the c-h-i-l-d-r-e-n to b-e-d and then eat the rest of the i-c-e c-r-e-a-m."
It was like being able to speak a foreign language. My kids had no idea what I was saying. I could come home from work and share all of the office gossip without worrying what little ears might hear...or repeat. I could complain about the neighbors, talk about relatives, and even plan the kids' birthday presents right in front of them.
"We aren't getting our s-o-n that t-o-y that makes the irritating n-o-i-s-e because it will d-r-i-v-e me out of my m-i-n-d."
I miss that stage.
What I especially liked about the 'spelling phase' was the kids didn't question what I was doing. It's like they didn't even know I was trying to hide something from them.
I suppose that's why my son's first word was "d-a-m-n."
It wasn't bad enough that the spelling days came to an end - it was the transitional stage I went through from spelling to not spelling that really was tough.
For example, it was during this transitional period that my oldest child learned to spell...only, I didn't fully realize it. Before I knew what was happening, he had become an interpreter for his sister. I overheard him one day in his bedroom deciphering for her what I said about my boss.
I hit the roof. "Hey! When did you learn to spell?"
"Dad, I'm a second grader."
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Ken Swarner lives in the PNW with his wife and twochildren. His book, Whose Kids Are These Anyway appears on Penguin's Perigee Label. He can be seen at www.kenswarner.bigstep.com, or emailed at kenswarner@aol.comKen Swarner is a real family man who enjoys finding the humor in our hectic daily lives. Parents of any age kids will find Ken's columns amusing, and closer to the truth than we can imagine. |
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