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C H O R E S
What does your family think about chores? Does everyone have daily or weekly chores? Do you pay your children an allowance for doing chores? Whether we pay our children or not for doing chores is not so much an issue. Based on the research that I've done there are just as many families who give their children an allowance for doing chores as there are families who do not give their children a 'chore' allowance. It all comes down to a family's value system and finding a process that works for them. Personally, I do not pay my children for doing chores. Part of being in our family is working together to take care of our home, our shelter. Now I do believe in rewarding children for doing chores - it just doesn't have to be big bucks. I also like to teach my children project management. Consider this - how do you feel if you were told to clean out the garage? UGH! if you looked in our garage, it is an overwhelming task. Consider, children may feel the same way if you tell them to clean their room. Try the project approach. Directing, 'why don't we straighten out your bookshelf today,' is more manageable. Also, until children are older, they do appreciate a helping hand and guidance on the 'how-to's' of organizing and clearing a room. Check out one of our recent articles on 'Clearing out the Clutter.'
One of the things that I've come up with is a task reward system. I implemented it several months ago, and it is working for us. Maybe it will help you. I have a task chart that you can print for each child and together you can list the chores that they can do to help the family. Each time a task is completed, a star/sticker is awarded. Each week, my children have to earn at least as many stars/stickers as they are old. At the end of the week, if they have the agreed upon amount of stickers, they can choose a reward as long as it is agreed to by mom and/or dad. The reward can be choosing what to have for dinner, to go to the park, to rent a video, or to have a friend sleep over. What's worked about this is that my children, ages 7 and 9, are excited about earning the stickers to trade in for rewards. Early on I tried to use it as a bargaining tool by taking stickers away for inappropriate behavior, that backfired. They quickly were turned off by the take-aways and had no incentive to earn more stickers/stars. So I use this system only as a positive tool, and deal with inappropriate behavior separately. I'm also trying to be flexible - as I'm learning, all of this is a process that can be adjusted, re-worked, and fine-tuned. I'll see how long this works - my dream will be through the teenage years! ; )
If you'd like a book to read about chores, one of my choices is Chore Wars : How Households Can Share...
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